Keep Calm and Let Go (by rheinitz)
As I alluded to in my previous post, this is a reentry for me into the world of blogging. I had a few very short-lived blogs on various topics including life, my first attempt at being a digital nomad, college athletics, and one for my old web design business, which was my first digital nomading attempt (all these sites have gone the way of the dinosaur).
After reviving this, my personal blog, a couple weeks ago, I ran across some of my old posts on my very first site I ever created, which was called Sunrise Lounge. One of the posts, titled “Letting Go…” gave me a much needed reminder as I have recently been allowing external stuff (little things, work, annoying people, etc.) to get the better of me, and I could tell it was starting to take a physical toll. I should have known better, as my 6-years-ago-self clearly knew when he wrote this post. Very wise and prophetic chap that.
I now give myself permission to reproduce that for you here today. May this wisdom serve you well, as it is doing for me once again. It also goes to show that often times we already have the answers to the challenges we face every day.
Without any further ado…
Letting Go… (originally published March, 2008)
Has anyone ever wronged you in any way? Whether it be a friend or foe, acquaintance or total stranger, we have all had times when someone has done something that, in our minds, was just not cricket (translate that to totally unacceptable if that cricket phrase went over your head).
What usually happens as a result? It either leads to escalating confrontation, or you keep it locked inside to hold a grudge for an eternity. Yea sure, giving the wrongdoer what-for may provide a temporary bit of joy in a revengeful way, and yet I think we can agree that probably isn’t the healthiest action to take. Holding it in is equally as destructive emotionally. No, there isn’t the obvious physical abuse that is inherent in the first option (there is no punching in the head, for example), and yet built-up stress can also lead to damaging effects on the body such as sickness, disease, bitter-beer face, etc…
A few nights back, I ran into a couple friendly acquaintances of mine. To make a long story short, person number one (we’ll call him Mr. Ed) is the uncle of a young woman (we’ll call her Daisy) that both myself and person number two (we’ll call him Wilbur) had each taken out on dates at some point last year. Now, without making any judgement of character, both myself and Wilbur realized that while attractive and a fun person, Daisy was probably not the right one for either of us. Unfortunately, Wilbur found out in a much harder way than I (I won’t get into details, just know that what Daisy did I believe lacked good judgement).
I caught up with Mr. Ed as I was leaving and asked how both he and Daisy was doing. He said they were both doing great and that Daisy was doing well with her studies and now had a new boyfriend. I was happy to hear that. I then caught up with Wilbur, who had told me he had the same conversation with Mr. Ed. The way he summed it up I thought was very refreshing. He said, “good for her, life is too short to be bitter.” He had plenty of reason to hold a grudge, and yet he let it go. Bravo I say.
In the grand scheme of things, there really is no reason to hold stuff like this against people. “What!?!?”, you say? It’s very simple when you break it down, it’s just that we let our emotions often get in the way of what we really know is best for us. Negative emotions such as anger and bitterness really do not serve us when we hold on to them for too long. Would you rather stay angry about something you likely have little or no control over, and thus suffer the effects of stress on the body and mind, or would you rather let whatever happen be OK, and move on?
So my advice… Next time you find yourself angry or upset about something, take a step back and notice that something is bothering you. Recognize it, identify it, and then you can make a rational decision on whether or not you want to continue to let it bother you, or go in another direction.